I’ve never met a group of people more jingoistic about their state more than the native Texan. Before I moved here I occasionally saw or heard the slogan, “Don’t Mess with Texas”. Now, I see or hear it daily. I once saw a bumper sticker that modified the slogan saying, “Don’t Mess with Texas - It’s not Nice to Mess with Retards”. No one in they’re right mind would put that on their vehicle inside of the state line. There may even be a law explicitly against it. In some of the more rural places I’ve driven through that sticker might as well read, “Feel free to kill me and bury me in a shallow grave”.
This state makes its public school students say the Texas Pledge of Allegiance every morning. Yes, there is a Texas Pledge of Allegiance. The indoctrination begins early in Texas. A co-worker of mine gets visibly angry whenever he is reminded that our company does not give us the day off for “Texas Independence Day”. I have never even been to Raleigh, the capitol city of my home state of North Carolina and couldn’t tell you any of its historical anniversaries. Here, I expect them to turn towards the Alamo five times a day and pray.
Texans carry this pride with them when they leave the state too. Separation anxiety sets in to both the movers and relatives of the movers. People who grave-dive at funerals are less emotional (moving to Oklahoma apparently is a fate worse than death). To the movers, anything unique to the new state has a vastly superior alternative back in Texas. One Texan I know complained about a North Carolina hot sauce called “Texas Pete”. How dare they try to pass this off as something from Texas. I wonder if suicide rates are higher for native Texans living outside of the state?
Here’s the real, honest truth about Texas - it’s huge. That’s it. As a state, that’s the only thing that really sets it apart from the rest of the country. Sure, there’s a lot of history here, but there’s a lot of history in Massachusettes too. There’s also a whole lot of nothing in Texas. Based on what I’ve seen, you could get rid of 85% of the state’s square mileage and not really miss anything. It would also make for a less fearful drive on the highways at night. The cool parts of the state that I have seen are in the major cities and 75% of that cool stuff is in Austin.
I can’t say that Texans aren’t friendly though. The hospitality shown to new residents is quite genuine. I think it’s because they assume if you moved here, you love it as much as they do. Another bumper sticker I see frequently is, “I’m not from Texas, but I got here as quickly as I could.” There must be a deep river of Jim Jones-esque Texas Cool-Aid. You probably have to drink it from the rotting head of Sam Houston like Indiana Jones in “Temple of Doom”. We haven’t partaken of the Cool-Aid yet, but we’ll let them keep thinking we have. You know, for survival.
Continue messing with Texas on our forums.