Public Ridicule

Sorry for the long hiatus - we’ll be back to blogging regularly now.

It was 375 years ago today when that idiot, Galileo, was forced to admit that the Bible cannot be wrong and that the Earth can’t move around the sun. Silly, Galileo. Why did he even bother to challenge the inerrant word of God?

Psalm 93:1, Psalm 96:10, and I Chronicles 16:30 - “the world is firmly established, it cannot be moved.”

Psalm 104:5 - “[the Lord] set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved.”

Ecclesiastes 1:5 - “the sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.”

Why do scientists insist on undermining our faith with things like a heliocentric theory of planetary rotation and evolution. We must TEACH THE CONTROVERSY because the Bible cannot be wrong. If we can’t force our beliefs into schools because of absurb things like facts, we must make sure that BOTH SIDES ARE REPRESENTED.

Thankfully, I am not alone. Ben Stein agrees with me. And, so does TEACHTHECONTROVERSY.com. They have put together a wonderful array of apparel that you can wear proudly. Here are a few examples:

/sarcasm

On the Trinity Broadcasting Network (yes, that bastion of class and sophistication), Ben was speaking to Paul Crouch about the anti-science ‘Expelled’ movie:

From National Review Online:

Stein: When we just saw that man, I think it was Mr. Myers [i.e. biologist P.Z. Myers], talking about how great scientists were, I was thinking to myself the last time any of my relatives saw scientists telling them what to do they were telling them to go to the showers to get gassed … that was horrifying beyond words, and that’s where science — in my opinion, this is just an opinion — that’s where science leads you.

Crouch: That’s right.

Stein: …Love of God and compassion and empathy leads you to a very glorious place, and science leads you to killing people.

Crouch: Good word, good word.

I would say more, but is there any point. I mean, anybody who really feels this way should just become Amish. There’s no point in continuing on in this society benefitting from scientific discoveries you feel are part of a long walk toward moral and physical destruction. I’m starting to see what Nixon liked about him.

Ben Stein is at the fore-front of this “documentary”, Expelled, about how Intelligent Design (ID) creation theory is being pushed out of science classes by some “Big Science” cabal.

Yeah, so?

Last time I checked there was no physical evidence to support ID, thus rendering it unscientific.

Now, I haven’t seen the film, nor will I. I have better things to do than listen to the inane ramblings of idiots who want to answer every difficult question with “God did it”. Every review I’ve read of the film says it is a ham-fisted propaganda piece disguised as an “oh, woe is me, I’m being persecuted” film. You used to be funny, Ben. I used to like you on “Win Ben Stein’s Money”. Now you go and affiliate yourself with this?

Here’s my issue… these ID people like to say that they just want “all points of view” discussed. Do these retards know how many different creation stories there are in the world? Every religion has it’s own idea - not to mention every whack-job. It’s not like the two competing theories are ID and Evolution. To open the door to Judeo-Christian Creation means we have talk about every other Creation story as well. Right now I could come up with as valid a guess as ID about how humans came to exist. Here, I’ll do it right now:

Theory: The Universe and everything in it was created by a giant wet fart from Jenu, the butt-baby of Jesus and Xenu.

What about fossils?
Jenu doesn’t chew his food very well.

Why is the Universe still expanding?
Well it was a pretty goddamn big fart. We’re still flying through space from the sheer power of it.

What are black holes?
Jenu inherited multiple assholes from Xenu’s side of the family. Xenu has an incredible number of assholes on his body - most of them in the motion picture industry.

So we didn’t evolve, we just keep digesting into smarter and smarter beings?
Pretty much, only now the digesting has stopped and we won’t get any smarter. We’re just part of a giant poop bubble from Jenu’s fart.

Daddy, what’s Vietnam?
Fuck off.

You see how this works?

Now I want this taught alongside evolution and ID because ALL VIEWPOINTS MUST BE HEARD! I will no longer be oppressed! Stop pushing my theory out of schools!

Maybe I could get Jimmy Kimmel to endorse my documentary. I’ll call it, Relieved of Doody.

The funniest development so far is that the Expelled documentary may be in trouble from Yoko Ono. The film uses John Lennon’s Imagine and the producers apparently didn’t feel like they needed to pay for the rights to use the song since they were critiquing it.

Also, I’m sure all involved were hoping for a lot of shouting and protests from the less religious community and got nothing. There wasn’t even a ripple. Unlike the knee-jerk religious follower, most thinking people realize that making a stink (not like Jenu, though) over some kind of film, book, or TV show just generates more revenue for the product in question.

Who would have ever thought that Yoko Ono would try to win Ben Stein’s money? I’m just going to sit back and laugh while the fruit of their labor rots on the vine.