I don’t think there’s a funnier culture in the world than the Japanese. It’s amazing what a couple of nukes will do to a culture. Where else can you by used girls panties from a vending machine (scroll a little more than half-way down to see the actual machine).
A favorite site of mine is engrish.com. Engrish, if you don’t already know are Asian Japanese-to-English mistranslations. The Japanese seem to love English words, and better yet, they can’t use them properly so you see signs and apparel like the ones featured on Engrish.com.
I remember reading a guy’s blog about being an English teacher in Japan for elementary school age kids. The guy is black and the Japanese kids were fascinated with grabbing his cock. They wanted to know how huge it was. Apparantly, black guy’s reputations precede them everywhere in the world. This guy’s life consisted of being “it” in a constant game of “Dick Grab” and kancho. Kancho was a game the kids played in which the kids interlocked their fingers except for the index fingers. The index finger stuck out making a gun shape. Now, with weapon in hand, the object of the game was to send the extended fingers up an opposing player’s ass. This poor guy was getting it from both sides.
Their TV is pretty fucked up too. Take a look at the Japanese version of Candid Camera.
Sweet, f’n christ.
I love the weirdness of the Japanese (and their hot chicks).
Karl Pilkington is an idiot of epic proportions. Worse than how little he knows is how poorly he regurgitates the information he has learned. The information is invariably filtered through some intellectual sieve that lets the important details slip through while catching the completely irrelevant parts. Once Karl has all the irrelevant parts accumulated he reformulates the information in his own way. For this reason, he is the perfect subject to be featured here on Public Ridicule - and, as Ricky Gervais has pointed out, he has a head like a fucking orange. It’s a perfectly round orb just sitting on a stump of neck doing nothing.
Ricky Gervais (creator of the original version of “The Office” in Britain) did a series of podcasts with writing partner Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington. Karl had worked at the radio station where Ricky and Stephen did a show. It was on that radio show that the fascinating mind of Karl Pilkington came to light. The podcasts are genius and demonstrate how utterly inept Karl is at basic reasoning and critical thought. I highly recommend you get them. The laughs are tremendous.
Ricky has decided to torture Karl. Karl is upset that people think he’s a “character” and wants no part of any further podcasts. So, Ricky is going blog Karl’s every move to annoy him - and it’s working.
To give you a little taste of Karl’s unintentional comedy genius, here is an animation created by a fan of the Ricky Gervais podcasts. Karl did a regular feature on the podcast called “Monkey News” where he would tell Ricky and Stephen some completely misunderstood and surreal news about monkeys.
ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. — Orange County Public Schools is investigating claims that a student was forced to use a lunchbox as a toilet in front of his class at Meadowbrook Middle School.
The teacher will not be coming to school. She will be relieved of her duty with pay as the school district investigates, officials said.
“If you gotta go, you gotta go,” student Quonterious Thomas told Eyewitness News in an interview Monday.
PR doesn’t care that Ashley Dupre is a prostitute.
PR is fine with whatever consenting adults want to do. There’s nothing to ridicule there.
The same cannot be said for Ms. Dupre’s “music”. What a bunch of god-awful shit that is. It’s prominently featured on her MySpace page and makes Brook Hogan sound like Billie Holiday. The two singles posted there are as cliche’ and vapid as anything you’ll hear in a semi-hip nightclub, with less mass appeal. I would pay her $5500 an hour just to not hear it.
Go with your strengths, Ashley. You obviously know how to use your mouth, vag, and ass. That throat of yours wasn’t built for sound to come out it. I’ve heard better singing from hostages being beheaded. You’re a champion receiver - like Jerry Rice, but in a different sport. Don’t let your best years of output (or putting out) go to waste.
You’re going to get offers for multiple magazine spreads and tons of adult films. Do them all. Start now while you’re still incredibly hot, because there’s not a lot of longevity in that industry before you have to start degrading yourself. Your music degrades you more than being a fluid receptacle for hire does. You could do retarded, amputee, midget bukkake videos* and it wouldn’t be as humiliating as the songs you posted. If you do “One Girl, Ten Cups” you will retain more artistic integrity than you would unleashing this auditory Hell on the world.
You’ll probably get a record deal anyway. You’re “popping” right now and that’s what the music industry wants. Developing an artist over time isn’t as important as making a quick one-album buck. At least you’re getting a record deal from actually being what Paris Hilton pretends to be. However, like Paris, listening to your music is like getting a prostate exam from Edward Scissorhands. I would rather listen to you take an obelisk in the urethra.
Please, have some class and keep fucking for money.
You bluetooth earpiece wearers are annoying the shit out of me.
Today I saw a man standing in a store talking to, seemingly, no one. I used to be the kind of person that would take a seat and watch the show the crazy person was putting on, but these bluetooth headsets have ruined that. The crazies are now mainstream. Give your local, schizophrenic homeless man a bluetooth headset and get him to play “Girl from Ipanema” with a mallet on his five remaining teeth. People won’t give him a second look.
Here’s what really pissed me off about this guy though. One hand was empty, the other was HOLDING HIS PHONE. Are you too lazy to lift a few ounces worth of phone to your ear, you self-important ass? Do you ask for extra straws so you can put them together and drink your soda without leaning forward to pick it up? Are you John McCain? No? Then hold the goddamn phone up to your ear. It’s not one of those phones that you call in an air-strike with in Vietnam. If you’re driving, fine - headsets serve their purpose there. If your hands are occupied doing other things like strangling a person who is using their bluetooth headset inappropriately, you get a pass too.
Tiny explosive devices should be installed in all these headsets. If somebody is being a complete turd in public, punch in the code on your phone, and relive some of those wonderful moments from the film “Scanners”. Until that’s a reality, I’m considering standing right next to them and talking back as if they were talking to me.
Well, she did it - she won Texas. It was fun while it lasted. I’m still hoping that she ultimately fails in her Grail Quest for the nomination. Maybe this will energize Obama people to come out in droves in the primaries to come. This is the first election where I don’t want anyone to win. I want her to win the least.
Opie and Anthony made a brilliant observation on their radio show. Hillary has this manner of speaking that slowly builds in intensity and volume until it reaches a fever pitch and, well… I’ll demonstrate what Anthony does when he imitates her.
“We must all unite…
And work toward a common goal…
Of bringing all people…
Under the umbrella of…
ACK! ACK!.. ACK!”
I wish someone would start playing Slim Whitman music at her rallies.
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